I don't like posting lyrics, but these describe my current state of mind quite well. I was actually starting to believe my parents when they told me I would feel better after I was done with school. I did for a while I guess. I figured going to the gym would help me stay stable. It didn't.

Now I spend most of my time trying to be asleep, because I want to spend as little time as possible in the waking world. The first two weeks after the whole graduation thing weren't to bad and I surprised myself by actually working up a sweat three or four times a week at the gym.

As September when I'm supposed start at university draws near my skin is beginning to feel like a very tight fit. I've already started blocking people out. I've cancelled on and declined everything that's been coming my way. Not only that, I've also begun to avoid my parents. Because we all know the right thing to do when depressed is lock everything and everyone out. Note the sarcasm.

Already done something stupid too. Although it's the only thing I thought up and followed through on. So in a twisted way it's a good bad thing. I'm slowly starting to solve practical problems. Apparently this is something I can concentrate on, but just not on anything else? I suppose I can appreciate the irony in that.

Ugh. Everything seems so pointless, even this stupid diary.