Not to worry dear diary, you haven’t missed much. My mood has been going up and down like it always does. One moment my mind is filled with hopes and things I want to accomplish and I feel like everything might work out after all. A moment later it’s like doing a ctrl+a delete and my mind is empty again leaving me feeling utterly unhappy and depressed.

I didn’t write that letter for that one job I mentioned. I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and write it. I just kept putting it off till eventually the deadline passed. I felt quite relieved once that had happened. It’s like I have to fight myself every time I have to do something that matters, something that will make a difference, if only a little. The problem is that I exactly know what my weaknesses are, so it’s fairly easy to lose the fight. Losing the fight meaning I end up doing nothing but letting life pass me by.

Friend S finally managed to make some time for me in his busy schedule so we met up a couple of days ago. I met up with him at my old school and from there we headed to that sandwich place where I had another yummy BLT. The last time I was there it tasted better, but I guess that’s because they made right there and then. This time I had to settle for one they had already made. S didn’t mind tagging along to the university library where I finally got to turn in those math books. I showed S a couple of the buildings afterwards. I imagine that was the last time I’ll ever set foot in any of the university buildings.

We went to a small café to have a drink and a bite to eat. It felt good to talk about everything, but I guess you can only talk to someone for so long about your problems, before they lose interest. I could see S losing interest while I was talking to him a couple of times. He seemed to be more interested in the people sitting behind me. He didn’t catch anything I said, but it didn’t bother me that much. I was just happy to unburden out loud even if nobody was listening.

S is apparently moving to a place of his own, or rather a room of his own. I got to see it, because he had some things he needed to sort out with the girl who was moving out. His new place is only a little bigger than mine, but it’s pretty cool I guess. There’s like six people living in the same house though. Two of those are his friends, but still. I guess maybe he doesn’t plan on spending a whole lot of time there, because unlike me, he has a life.

I went home feeling alright, even though I smelled like cigarettes. I took a shower as soon as I got home. I went to bed all spiffy clean and content.

I’ve seen a dozen movies. Too many to write them all up right now. I only saw one in the movie theater though. I went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Frankly I was a little disappointed. Don’t get me wrong. The plot, the effects, the cast, that whole magical wonderful world, they were all great. The thing that disappointed me was the acting and especially the supposed ‘teenage drama’. I think they should have done a few more takes in a couple of those scenes. The only one doing a decent job was Ron. If I had to pick one I’d say he’s my favorite. Well him and his brothers. I didn’t think much of Lord Voldemort’s performance either. He didn’t seem … I don’t know … not evil enough I guess. The most powerful and evil wizard. I don’t know what it was I was expecting, but definitely not a whispering vampire-like weirdo. I still liked the movie though! But not so much that I want to go see it again.

Hmm I think those are two main things worth mentioning. Two weeks and that’s all I have to show for it. Sad really. Besides those it’s laundry, cleaning the aquarium, cleaning my room and downloading and watching movies. Oh yeah, and today I cleaned out the freezer. It was completely iced up. So much the top drawer wouldn’t slide in all the way so you couldn’t close the door properly. Pretty nasty, wet and cold job, but it had to be done.

Well obviously I’ve been doing a lot of thinking like I always do. That’s the problem, all I do is think. Less thinking. More acting. I’ll start with that tomorrow, but then again, that’s what I keep telling myself. Tomorrow, tomorrow, there’s always tomorrow.