Not so depressed anymore. Now just exhausted. My parents and my brother helped me move yesterday. Everything hurt this morning. I spent my day unpacking things I didn't unpack yesterday and trying to think of a clever way to utilize all the space in my new and improved closet. I'm almost done. Clean my desk drawers, vacuum and put my bed together. Then I'm completely moved in. Finally.

My dad helped me construct the closet, but he was being a perfectionist so it took a little longer then anticipated. Although I had anticipated he would be like that, it still took longer than even I had anticipated. Anticipate is such a great word, isn't it? The closet is nicer the way it is now, but I'm pretty sure his body will remind him of the extra effort he put into it.

My parents are growing old. It's scary and I don't like it one bit. For instance, I had to read some labels out loud to my dad when we went to pick up the shelves for the closet. He can't read anything without his glasses anymore. I could tell everything took a lot more out them -my parents- then it did the last time they helped me move.

It could have something to do with my brother though. He went through a mental crisis of sorts the day before. It must've been pretty bad, because my parents made him come along. Not to help, but because they didn't trust him to be by himself while they were out here helping me move. My dad told me my mother thought he might hurt himself or worse if left by himself.

I worry about him. Whatever he's going through it's a lot harder than what I'm going through. Of that I'm sure. I know how to handle my depression ... well ... sort of. Cutting isn't exactly the right way to handle depression, but I'm not making any cuts leaving permanent scars. In a fucked up way that's a good sign.

My brother has panic attacks. He just shuts down. It's scary. I retreat into myself too when it gets bad, but not like him. I can still will myself into communicating and doing everyday stuff. Bah, writing about this is making me worry about my brother even more.

I was going to write about something else as well when I turned on my laptop to write this entry, but I forgot what it was. Oh wait, I remember.

One of my housemates. The girl I wrote about in my last entry. She's very nice. Maybe a little too nice even. I had a couple of glasses of wine in her room and we talked for a bit. One, I don't usually drink alcohol if I can avoid it, but damn that was some tasty wine. Two, when I say 'talked for a bit’; I mean we couldn’t stop talking about stuff. Politics, current events, life, the universe and everything. She's one of those positive people with a ton of ambition. You get inspired just by being near people like her. It’s like an aura kind of thing.

She told me about her boyfriend and how she felt they were growing apart. Dude, don't even think it. Uh ... yeah. I met her boyfriend today. Seemed like an ok guy. Interesting how when I finally do run into someone great ... she's taken. Of course it all makes sense when you consider how my luck works.

I don't really believe in destiny or fate or whatever, but lately there have been too many coincidents in my life. Little ones and bigger ones as well, like my cousin coming to me for that website just when I needed a project exactly like that for my portfolio. What's up with that? Hello ... God? Are you there? ... hmm, no big booming voice from the sky ... *phew* ;-) Or am I doing this all by myself? Never knew I had that kind of unconscious will power.

There's more to write ... but I'll take some new pictures and post one of 'em tomorrow to go with the more to write. My mind feels kinda ... full and heavy. It feels nice, but also very energy draining.